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i wish he would

Photo by Emeric Laperriere on Pexels.com
i wish he would
see me, in sea of crazy
as waves of uncertain crashed over
and still be with me
i wish he would
look at me, amidst all the worldly beauty
and still call me the most beautiful he has ever seen
even at my ugliest
i wish he would
hold me, as the world rejects me
and stay there as time flies by
as the wind carries my cries
i wish he would
i wish he still would
how i dream he still would
even as i wake up

i wished he would

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the concept of us

is the unbridled beauty of the universe
endless, vast and never ceasing
it is the uncharted journey that god coerced
and the capitalist keeps on capatalising
still I see the faces of the dead
of Achilles and Patroclus
of Alexander and Hephaestion
of Sappho and her nameless lovers
but it is the tragedy of us
is what they truly sell
once the beautiful uncertainty of us crumbles to dust
we now ride this carousel to hell
Continue reading “the concept of us”
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falling out of love

Illustration by Claire Donasco

gray skies, overhead
messages left unread
winds, strong blew past
wishing our love would last

flowers withered, before they bloomed
oh, how i assumed
your love withdrawn
now gone

only memories of you left
a love that i would heft
promises now remain unkept
tear stained images of you now swept

a new day to start anew…

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coffee shop blues i

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

scorching mid afternoon skies
the sun on almost noon
strong bitter taste of lies
swell my cup like a balloon

coffee shops and cafes is now where i dwell
mugs and tea cups will earn my fill
of coffee, tea and maybe ecstasy
as i dwell on my mind with childish fantasies

of knights and their adventures
of unknown worlds they would venture
wishing that i would too
but for now its just another cold brew…

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amour perdu

Illustration by Claire Donasco

a love forgotten
a love forsaken
a union that was hasten
oh, how it quickly fallen

a love that turned sour
the you used to devour
a love that you used to harbor
now closed, in need of a new master

like winter that turned to spring
flowers bloomed, and bird would sing
love you lost, is love i found
a new song now is crowned

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replaceable

the flowers wilted
a lover jilted
like rust corroded
or love that eroded

worn away by time
and nothing sublime
filled with tear and fear
oh, how you would leer

we now, separated
how you exalted
now covered with lovers
for i still haven’t recovered

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i could never be loved

i’m so tired
but still wired, to you
as i lay awake
amidst the quake

In the wake
of the break
all I’ve felt is heartache
who knew it was a mistake

like a film, i hoped for a remake
a world that i could dictate
i’m so tired of the same old shit
a different guy, but not one to commit

a story with the same edit
a love that I discredit
to be so in love
but so naive

so, so tired still
hoping that this would be the end

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Stormbreaker

unkind words were said
a love that was ripped to shreds
hit me like arrowheads
years, pass by overhead

the skies grew darker
rain spewed harder
thunder, flashed
like a slap in the face

it didn’t faze you
redness grew in hue
I wanted to redo
but it was something i cant undo

our love left for dead
stuck in dread
bang! the door slammed
now, forever damned

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my thoughts of you…

lips that pucker
so sweet as apple pie
images of me kissing you would occur
that i wish you would comply

it was all for naught
for you, i was a passing thought
overwrought,
with distraught…

for i still hang unto your words
like a life vest
clinging unto it, unlike the rest
beneath the waves you laid it to rest.

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A Rainy Day

rain reminds me of you.
a gentle stream of raindrops
a cool breeze that drifts over
a steady strum of the piano

I like to think I’m over you,
but I’m still not, over you.
Ours was long over due,
for ours, others believed it was taboo.

But fuck you…
it was you, who thought we were through
love, loyalty, wasn’t the issue.
it was the hate of others that it ensue.

you had to bid adieu,
you cant stand the people around you
who talk, stare and whisper.
so you left me to wander.

still on rainy days reminds me of you…

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The End of Something

I wholeheartedly believed ours was forever.

It was actually another Greek tragedy,

something we need to sever,

for both, we were the casualty.

 

Ending it, was like the end of eternity.

It was nothing but a catastrophe,

blinded by our own vanity,

that was filled with ecstasy.

 

Now, both in agony.

Deluded in our own fantasy,

for the sake of our sanity.

Our love a travesty…

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Blurred Lovers

we said the words,

but our love was shallow,

just one with the herd,

for we were nothing but callow.

 

we were nothing but a phase,

thrilled by the chase.

but it was nothing but haste,

leaving us in distaste.

 

maybe, one day,

in some Parisian cafe.

away from the dismay,

and sad cliches.

 

 

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The Quest for Work: Job Hunting (Expectations vs. Reality)

I’ve always imagined my first work experience would be somewhere classy or high end like in a popular magazine company where people would die for to work there. Somehow like Runway from Devils Wears Prada and I can be the next Andy Sachs, who kind of nearly kills herself in the process just too please people like Miranda Priestly. Maybe not exactly like the movie, maybe the company but not the evil boss.
 
Looking back two summers before, when I’ve gotten my first job. I went out to look for my first working experience. Even if I really didn’t know what to do, what say or what wear at that point. In my mind I kept on thinking, damn. Would they even hire me? I mean who would hire me? Who would hire a college undergraduate with basically no work experience in the business? Does my shirt have stains? Do I look decent? Should I leave? But that’s for another post.
 

Continue reading “The Quest for Work: Job Hunting (Expectations vs. Reality)”